Archive · Department of Unnecessary Longing

Findings & Notices

Recent findings

1. F-001Researchers have identified a strong correlation between rainy afternoons and unnecessarily revisiting the past.
2. F-002The Institute is investigating whether emotional unavailability increases perceived attractiveness.
3. F-003A preliminary report suggests that some subjects are more attached to the possibility of an event than to the event itself.
4. F-004Some people have unresolved feelings. Others have established a long-term research department.
5. F-005Subject has reported missing an experience while actively experiencing it. The Institute considers this development significant.
6. F-006Not every coincidence is a sign. Some of them are just coincidences that happened to a person who really wants something to happen.
7. F-007The Institute has confirmed that the alternate timeline is not accepting visitors at this time.
8. F-008Field researchers report that a single song released in 2009 remains responsible for a measurable share of regional longing.
9. F-009Subjects who describe a past summer as 'the best of my life' were, on average, mildly sunburned and quite bored.
10. F-010Train windows continue to outperform all other surfaces as a medium for staring meaningfully.
11. F-011The Institute has observed that 'I'm over it' is most frequently said by people who are not.
12. F-012A significant number of subjects maintain a detailed fictional life in a city they have visited for four days.
13. F-013Researchers note that the phrase 'we should catch up sometime' has a confirmed completion rate approaching zero.
14. F-014Subjects consistently rate imagined reunions higher than actual reunions. The Institute is not surprised.
15. F-015Preliminary evidence suggests that the last day of a holiday begins roughly three days before the end of the holiday.

Selected remarks

• "Missing something and needing it back are two different departments."
• "Your alternate timeline is not better funded. It is just better lit."
• "Nostalgia is the past with the boring parts edited out."
• "Some people live in the moment. Others visit it, take photographs, and leave early to miss it."
• "The almost is very persuasive. It never has to prove anything."
• "An unanswered question can occupy more space than an answered one ever could."
• "You are allowed to enjoy something without drafting its eulogy."
• "Distance is an excellent editor. It removes all the evidence."
• "The present is not glamorous. It is, however, where you are."
• "Yearning is the imagination's way of working unpaid overtime."

Official notices

• NOTICE: The alternate timeline is closed for renovations. No reopening date has been set.
• NOTICE: Subjects are reminded that rereading old messages does not count as correspondence.
• NOTICE: The window-staring room is at capacity. Please stare from your current location.
• NOTICE: Playlists dedicated to a specific person must now be registered with the Department.
• NOTICE: Hypothetical futures may not be used as collateral.
• NOTICE: The Institute will not be issuing proper endings to situations that did not have one.
• NOTICE: Please do not ask the archivist whether they 'ever think about it.' They do. Constantly.
• NOTICE: Anticipatory nostalgia during scheduled events is discouraged but, regrettably, permitted.
• NOTICE: Signs from the universe must be submitted in writing for independent verification.
• NOTICE: The Institute's lost-and-found does not accept versions of yourself.